Having lived with a chronic illness for 2,494 days and counting, I look at life a bit differently than most people my age.
Life is a gift. A very precious gift. You only get it once, so you have to live it to the fullest.
Life is a gift. A very precious gift. You only get it once, so you have to live it to the fullest.
I don't know a lot of things.
I don't know why I have these disorders.
I don't know if I'll ever be pain-free again.
Some days, I don't know how I'm going to survive a lifetime of this.
If I live exactly 70 more years, and no cure is found, that means I will spend the next 25,550 days in this same, excruciating pain. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. I just have to prepare.
I can't live my life waiting for a cure. I can live my life hoping for one, but I can't just sit around and wait.
Ethan texted this to me months ago. I saved it to my phone then, and came across it yesterday when looking through old pictures on my phone;
"It seems as though I can never catch a break, but this is what I have. Am I going to try to feel as good as possible? Of course. But I can't be living just to "feel good" because that won't happen. I need to find out what I am actualyl living for each day."
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't let chronic illness hold me back.
I can do this. I got into the school of my dreams in the program I've wanted to be in for years. I am fully capable of this.
I'll be in a crap ton of pain doing it, which will make it more of a struggle for me, but I can do it.
I've make it through these past 7 years in pain and remained in public school. I'm about to graduate high school. I'm a member of three world-class performance ensembles. I am stronger than this pain.
And I WILL conquer these diseases.
I don't know why I have these disorders.
I don't know if I'll ever be pain-free again.
Some days, I don't know how I'm going to survive a lifetime of this.
If I live exactly 70 more years, and no cure is found, that means I will spend the next 25,550 days in this same, excruciating pain. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. I just have to prepare.
I can't live my life waiting for a cure. I can live my life hoping for one, but I can't just sit around and wait.
Ethan texted this to me months ago. I saved it to my phone then, and came across it yesterday when looking through old pictures on my phone;
"It seems as though I can never catch a break, but this is what I have. Am I going to try to feel as good as possible? Of course. But I can't be living just to "feel good" because that won't happen. I need to find out what I am actualyl living for each day."
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't let chronic illness hold me back.
I can do this. I got into the school of my dreams in the program I've wanted to be in for years. I am fully capable of this.
I'll be in a crap ton of pain doing it, which will make it more of a struggle for me, but I can do it.
I've make it through these past 7 years in pain and remained in public school. I'm about to graduate high school. I'm a member of three world-class performance ensembles. I am stronger than this pain.
And I WILL conquer these diseases.